This week’s episode of Vox Auctoris is a heavier one.
My mind has been in a darker place lately. Some of that is just temperament. I tend to brood. When the darkness comes around, I don’t become melodramatic—but I do spend long stretches sitting with uncomfortable thoughts.
Part of that tendency comes from my time in the military.
I deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan as a helicopter crew chief. I flew combat missions, cargo missions, and VIP transport. I listened to generals speak one way to the press and another way to their soldiers. I watched narratives shift depending on the audience. And when you’re close enough to that machinery, you learn something quickly:
Very little in war is black and white.
Modern soldiers are not automatons. They are not mindless zealots. They are not unaware of the political complexities surrounding them. In fact, military culture places heavy emphasis on understanding the difference between a lawful order and an unlawful order. It is drilled into you that you have a duty to refuse an unlawful command.
Most soldiers are never put in a position where they must make that call—but the training is real.
And yet, even within that structure, you see darkness.
You see how borders were drawn without regard for the people who live within them. You see ethnic and religious tensions that predate American involvement by centuries. You see how power structures exploit those fractures. You operate in a constant fog of moral ambiguity.
But here’s the deeper lesson.
The worst evil isn’t ideology. Ideology justifies actions after the fact. The real fuel is older. Basal. Instinctual.
It’s greed. It’s lust. It’s status. It’s revenge. It’s the part of the brain that tells you to have another drink, take another bite, indulge one more time. That lizard-brain impulse exists in everyone. In some people it manifests mildly. In others, it scales.
And when you scale power, you scale temptation.
That’s been on my mind lately—especially as new “files” and scandals circulate. Nothing that’s surfaced surprises me. Not because I assume the worst about everyone, but because history is consistent. From Rome to Mesopotamia, from dynasties to modern intelligence circles, the same pattern repeats:
Power consolidates.
Influence networks form.
And the circle of trust is enforced through compromise.
The higher you climb, the more leverage is required to ensure loyalty.
That is not new.
It is ancient.
That doesn’t mean everyone at the top is corrupt. But statistically, across human history, depravity appears wherever power and secrecy intersect.
That’s the darker spiral I’ve been sitting with this week.
Writing Updates
On a lighter note—actual creative work continues at full speed.
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Wyrm Rider is finished. Final word count: ~52,000 words. It grew from “prequel novella” into full novel.
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It will still be free to mailing list subscribers, as promised.
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If you’re a Patron at the Equite tier or above, the full manuscript is live now in this month’s Codex.
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The Heart of the Wasteland is deep in second-draft revisions. I’m cutting aggressively and planning an additional 10–15k words of structural tightening and emotional layering.
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If momentum holds, we’re still on track for late February / early March releases.
I’ve been protecting my daily new-word sessions, even during revision periods. That discipline has been the secret to this year’s output. It’s mid-February and two books are already complete. That’s not normal velocity—and I intend to keep it that way.
Free February Fantasy & Sci-Fi Reads
I’m still participating in the February BookFunnel promo.
If you’re looking for something free to read—fantasy, sci-fi, space opera, epic, urban—it’s there at the link below. Just click on the picture.
You can also access it anytime at:
dwhawkins.com/promos
I know this episode wandered into darker territory. But storytelling isn’t just dragons and starships. Sometimes it’s staring at the human condition without flinching.
Much love.
— D.W.